(Thoughts) Of love, in relationships...

(Thoughts) Of love, in relationships...

Hi all,


Yeah this is probably the 2nd last post I'll be putting up. This one's a little special I guess, because I did promise a friend to give some reflections and thoughts on love in this manner of relationships(bgr – boy-girl-relationships), and I will fulfil that promise before this blog comes to a pause. Today's source is mainly that from my diary on the 27th of February 2007. And yeah it was a period I was pondering and asking the LORD about the aspect of relationships, and how should it be like. And enough said here, let it begin.


On the 27/02/07...
*LORD I am reminded to learn not to bring in expectations or set perspectives, as far as possible, when getting to know someone and understanding this relationship with that person. For it is a human tendency to take comfort on that which is known, for many times we fear that which is not known. This is one of the reasons for the development of prejudices, biasness and oversimplifications(to some extent). What can result is a certain expectation placed towards someone which can ultimately lead to a strain in the relationship or in worse cases a broken one in result. So Father I ask that You give me the right attitude to have towards others, to accept them for who You've made them to be, in all their differences, in all the areas that I lack understanding, I ask for Your grace. Teach me how to love them as they are, the way You desire me to. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

*What should a relationship be like?
A relationship should be a “safe place for recuperation” for one another. A place where one learns to love one another, and together love the people God has placed in your lives. And most importantly, a place where one together leans to love God, and all this(3 aspects of love) modelled after the love of God He has shown to us.

*A relationship criteria?(If there should be any)
- Mutual understanding between each other
- Able to build one another up to the person God has planned her to be. (To grow in her relationship with the LORD)
- Able to benefit the other person “the most”. (To help her grow to her fullest potential, which is a possible “reason” why God has placed you 2 together?)
- Able to comfort and encourage each other enough to build up a shelter for one another to seek God together as we weather the storms of life


Yeah so those were my thoughts on that very day. And actually this understanding of relationship I do have further opinion on it.

Firstly, that it actually applies universally to all our relationships in our lives, just how far the application actually goes. For example to a friend who is in your cell group, it may apply 50 percent, yet to a buddy whom you've grown up with and knows you “inside out” perhaps it applies 80 percent.

Secondly, I believe that all this loving a person in accordance to who he/she actually is, have to come into play sometime in a relationship between a couple in courtship. This is either as they know each other as friends(most ideal i feel), in the courtship itself, or sometime in a marriage. And if it doesn't, the relationship's tendency is it it will tend to drift, as a commitment to one another resulting from the love you have for one another, will not be in place.

Oh yeah all this being said, I guess it reveals a principle i hold in my life, that in the most of the things that I embark in, I look to build on something that is meaningful, something that will last. For if it is not so, unless there is a particular reason, if not my tendency is that I will not begin to build this at all.

And so for me actually all this cumulates into just 2 things – a question and an image.

The question - think of it as the person whom you love or say you love, asking it to you.
“Are you willing to live a life of simplicity with me?”
Ah yes its a seemingly simple question, but it goes far beyond that which I think most of us can understand. Like for husbands to model the love towards their wife, unto that of willingness to sacrifice one's life that how Christ did for the church, like that for a wife to model the love towards that of total submission as to the Lord. It is difficult to comprehend, and we can only begin to understand when we ask the LORD and He shows us how to. And if anytime we think otherwise, then we better think again. And actually I think this simple question also summarises the long wedding vows people make on that special wedding day to celebrate the love that begets commitment and responsibility towards one another. It can also to read in this manner, “If all that you used to love me for fades or is taken away, if the circumstances in our lives become much harder than it is now, will you be willing to continue this walk with me, to love me as I am?” So that is the understanding of the love that begets commitment, modelled after the love that God has shown through Jesus Christ.

The image – that of the moon and the stars in the night sky. The moon representing the man, and the stars together representing the lady. The light that shines from them is given to them by the LORD almighty, and they will shine, and continue to shine as He determines. The night sky that is so distinctly dark in contrast can represent the world and all the trials of life, that causes difficulties in the life of these 2, but yet in it all, in the greater darkness, so the light contrasts even far more brighter. So that is the understanding of the imagery I have i guess.

So yep that's all I have to say about relationships. All can be done by someone, but it all culminates to a question “Are you willing to live a life of simplicity with me?”. And this reveals one thing about relationships, it requires a willingness of heart on 2 people to walk life together, to establish common memories that will be of hope in times of difficulty in the future. And this willingness is the finality of all that is prepared, planned and done throughout the process.

Oh yes, and not to forget, actually I realised from my own life, that sincerity of heart is important. But so is the guidance that comes from the LORD and the obedience to follow as He leads. After which then is the willingness of heart that we just spoke of in the previous paragraph. So 3 things we should look for I guess in relationship, if one is looking towards it :(1) Sincerity of heart, (2) Guidance from the LORD, (3) Willingness of heart. But this is as I have learnt from my own life, the LORD may show you otherwise in your own life as well. =)

Take care and God Bless~



In His love,
Jon



Biblical References:
“1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
- Ephesians 5:1-2

“22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
- Ephesians 5:22-28

“4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."”
- Matthew 19:4-6

“14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.”
- Philippians 2:14-17